Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
