Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
