He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
