This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
