god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yo dont text me then not text me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
