SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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