Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
