and you said cock pushups were impossible
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
