I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
