"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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