Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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