i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
