whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
