Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
