someone threw a dead crab at me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
