Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize