I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
