Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize