Your dad touched me again.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist