peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What changed your mind?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.