The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?