Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
