I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
