I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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