you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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