No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Boobs are out for the taking
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
