: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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