i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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