So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
