I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
