Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
