I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
