Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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