Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
