i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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