If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
