3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
