I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
