My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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