i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
