I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
