Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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