we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
