we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
