Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
