i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
