So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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