He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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