I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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