My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
