I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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