how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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