are you still at the devil's house?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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