my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
