the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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