so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
