just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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