Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
