I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize