Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
