She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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