Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
